Good Bye 2013 & Welcome 2014

@Hospital in Delhi.

This year was quite fast for our family. It feels like just yesterday it started but when we look back to the year there is lot in our memories that is worth capturing.

As some of you might know, we moved back to India from Beijing in Oct 2012 as Pitaji (my father) was not doing good.

He had been On & Off hospitalized for almost 2 years, operated twice – for prostrate & gall bladder for doubt of malignancy/tumor. His Hemoglobin went below 6 & was continuously suffering from high fever caused by Urine infection (UTI), later developed to Renal Tuberculosis. When it comes to family, you clearly understand your priorities & I am glad to be blessed with such a life partner who initiated this thought of returning back to India as our parents needed us. With all those struggle & great support from my company, we landed back in India. I was posted in Bhopal (Madhya Pradesh) – Central India. Not that far from Delhi (my home town) – overnight travel. After joining here, we requested my parents to move along with us to Bhopal so that we can better take care of them & they would too get a change. So, almost Oct – Feb 2013 went into relocation & settling into new place and getting to know hospitals and Play school in Bhopal. Amid this, New Year 2013 started.

Though Pitaji moved with us but his fever was still continuing. We visited 7-8 known Nephrologist. One doctor even said he is in very critical situation.. suffering from E-coli bacteria and to cure it we have to admit him & get the 21 days course (medication via drip) to completely kill the bacteria. Medication is very tough & it will further reduce his health as it will crunch his all intestines. I never ever thought that a bacteria could be so dangerous. When I talked to doctor separately, he said it’s a critical situation & we cannot guarantee his full recovery. Being emotionally chocked we initiated everything, even booked room as well. Then suddenly I recalled that I read about another Nephrologist on Internet. I asked doctor, can we have second opinion & he said why not (in a bit angry tone). I quickly took the appointment with other doctor & went to their hospital. This was Samarpan hospital (http://samarpanhospital.org/index.html) run by Dr. Gopesh Modi.

Courtesy: Samarpan hospital website

Entering into hospital gave quite positive vibes. All positive thoughts around. Lots of testimonials by patients & staff for doctor. We waited and when our turn came, Doctor greeted us very nicely & later heard us quite patiently. Tried to skim through Dad’s medical record over last 2 years. He was surprised to see such a big bundle of file & medications he was taking. He said – “Uncle! Can you leave your medical record with me. I want to get to details of your case. Lets meet up after 2 days. For the time being, I am stopping all your medication.” I said – “What?”. He repeated – “I am stopping all your medications except your normal once for diabetes & BP. Lets watch day by day.. when you have fever, just simply take Paracetamol.. record your fever every 3-4 hours. Lets define course of your medication there after. And importantly, (looking into his eyes) Don’t worry at all. I assure you, you will be all right very soon! (with a big smile)”. I was confused should we go back to same doctor who said he is critical or try with this new one who has stopped all medications. And the end his talks & ambiance gave us some positivity. We went back home & returned after two days. Dr. Modi actually studied our report to details & said “Uncle! I don’t trust your diagnosis & treatment 100%. If you will allow me, I want to have your fresh tests done & then define your medications. In the mean while just stay with your basic medications. If you happen to have questions, text me or email me, I will revert to you. Or come to hospital if any emergency.” After all testing he further said – “I don’t believe you happen to have renal tuberculosis. Yes! You have E-coli bacteria but every body has it. Even we too. Its just because your immune system is week it is hijacking your body & getting you high fever. So, lets continue paracetamol when you have fever & start building your Immune system. Again no more additional medications”.

Courtesy: Samarpan hospital website

It was all good news for us. Now, I could understand why those messages are spread all around in hospital. His style of treatment is not alone by medication but more with emotional power booster, Enhancement of individuals psychology.

Slowly Pitaji started recovering. Fever still used to come but less often than before. Steadily through out 2013 I saw a tremendous improvement in his health & confidence towards life. All thanks to Dr. Modi. May God bless him & he keep serving more people with same generosity & empathy while spreading those positive vibes in society.

Now, Pitaji is not only independent in most of activities but assisting me a lot. He can drive, take Aadi to school, bring milk & vegetables for home to name a few. I believe factors that worked for Pitaji to get well are – (1) Dr. Modi’s treatment, advices which triggered a confidence that he is alright. He just need to live a watchful & planned Normal life, (2) Staying more in home vs. hospital, (3) spending time with Aadi (grandson) & Anu, (4) he created his own network around in society – retired group, and (5) last but not least, Bhopal – natural & calm place vs. Delhi. Greenery all around, river beside our society, fresh air (not polluted) and Sunlight throughout day.

Pitaji taking Aadi to School

Maa (Mother) also get into a routine.

It was a big life changer for Maa too. She was also going through a tough time. All alone when pitaji was hospitalized in Delhi. Imagine, when someone is well but still, he/she have to spend days, weeks in hospital because of her loved one is there & no one at home to go back. This was her situation till we moved to Bhopal. After getting to Bhopal, she said “Now you are back! Take care of your father. I am tension free now! J”. On one side move to Bhopal improved Dad’s health which give an emotional boost to Maa too but importantly, she got into a routine & activities. She had created a big network of women around in society too – interestingly all age groups. 

Maa playing horse for Aadi.

Her days used to be like this – (1) go for walk early in the morning with her few women, (2) Go for dance class in afternoon, (3) go to different house as “Bhajan Mandali” (sacred song singing troup) – especially during Navratras, and (4) last but not least, go for Kirtan/Bhajan in Temple (I missed this earlier) in our society in night (another gang of ladies). That routine has broken for last few months as she has to manage home since Anu was pregnant & now, she is Grand Maa of two. Soon, she should get back to her routine.

Anu – settled & happy in bhopal

Looking at her each time, I realize the meaning of word “Better half”. Since I moved to new role in Bhopal, I had to manage & get to speed on work side as well. So, she took the lead & managed lot of things especially taking Pitaji to hospital once every two weeks later a month. If I am traveling due to work, manage complete home when Pitaji was not well. She is not considering to restart her career, rather, prefers to spend time as home maker to take care of Maa - Pitaji and two kids. Because of her, I can easily focus on my work.

We have been long discussing whether to plan for second child or not. I was “For” it & she was “against” while we were in Beijing. After spending few months in India, she felt probably she is OK now. And then one day when I was in Japan, she called me up & gave me this good news – “we were expecting second Child due in Nov’13”. J

This time, her first trimester was not that difficult as with Aadi’s time. Due to which she could attend & enjoy two weddings at her parents place- (1) her sister, Neha (weds Nikhil) and (2) cousin, Apoorva (weds Pooja).

She got into complications around September end due to which doctor suggested her complete bed rest to avoid Pre-mature delivery. Since then we counted days by small milestones.. like Dusshera.. Karwa Chauth.. Weekends.. Diwali.. Bhai dooj.. and visiting doctor every week. Then, once last festival was over & baby also completed 37 weeks, we said, now its OK to let her come into this world anytime when God wants. Almighty God blessed us with our angel – “Bhavya (Aadya)” just within 4 days after Diwali .. Within Diwali festive week –  On Nov 7. J It was a normal delivery & within half an hour she was in my hands. Now, its been close to 2 months, both mother & daughter are doing good.

Blessed with Little Angel on Nov 7, 2013

I see my family as "Self sustained support system" now. In my absence, Pitaji is helping & takes lead when Anu is not well. Anu leads when Pitaji is not well. Maa & Anu takes care of home. Aadi – Aadya remains entertainer & energizer for three of them. They both keep them completely busy & occupied.

Aadi – Getting to socialize..

Probably our move to India would have been toughest to someone who don’t know how to express himself in words completely & is dependent on us, i.e., Aadi. Since we had a plan to live in Beijing for a while, we planned things accordingly for Aadi. We bought all hindi story books & rhymes CDs from India and we used to also talk to him in Hindi only as we thought he will be exposed to English by default when he will start interacting to people outside as that’s the only language he would see his friends talking in play group soon. After 2 years of his age, we returned to India. He was learning to get Hindi but no English. Now in India, Situation is opposite. Here, he is more & more exposed to Hindi. Our theory is failing here. We now wants him to learn English.. getting him English books, stories, rhymes.. trying to talk to him in English.. but at times I feel its too much to expect from a 3 year old toddler.

Other challenge for him, since he was brought up for two years staying alone with her Mumma at home. His socializing skills still need to be worked on. So when we returned to India, he was finding himself in difficult situation. He is shying away from people. Just sticking to Mumma. He used to cry for her if she is away from his sight even for few minutes. If we are going to play ground or to others home or even someone coming to our home including kids of his age.. he will be just sitting on Mumma’s lap. It was a difficult time for him.

So, we decided to get him to playgroup, somewhere close by so that if he is not in control Anu can easily go & pick him up.  We explored few options & then signed up for “Sprouts”.

Aadi's School

We were afraid how he will react to this big change.. staying away from not only Mumma but all in family for few hours however school principal convinced us that it will be just for few days & then he will be used to this. Same happened..

He grew up from Crying at home itself.. then crying at school gate.. then crying in class…to settling down. From finding himself alone.. to getting to know care-takers .. to being favorite of teachers. From sitting quite in class ... .. to shouting rhymes loudly in class that teacher has to stop him. J Even more, he was awarded “Star of the month” in September.

Still a long journey to go for him & I am sure he will be able to learn things faster. In few months he will be Preschooler getting to Nursery class.

Self - Settled.. Connected & Growing..

Starting new year, we had family day in our office so, I took my family. It was a good experience for them. Just after that I had quite a lot of travel till early September this year.

I got opportunity to meet old friends & alumni at IIP Annual General Meeting. Same week, I realized my batch has completed 5+ years, so we organized a Re-union of our batch (in hostel) which also had a good turn-around. We connected with friends those who are outside India using Skype. We remembered old days of hostel life & then had some chit-chat with current batch students.

I was selected as Mumbai Chapter core team member where we have to do few activities for Mumbai chapter including IIP, students & fellow members. We chartered teams including students & empowered them to bring ideas & execution steps. While I used to go to Mumbai, they used to get engaged but due to distances & extensive travel, progress couldn’t work out well.

Further continued my travel to... Hyderabad, Mumbai, Pune, Bhopal, Japan, Bangkok, Hyderabad, Delhi, Bhopal, Pune, Singapore, Delhi, Bhopal & finally last trip of the year to Germany.

In between, I heard that my Engineering batch mates are also planning a Re-union after 8 years. I got excited & similar was the response from most of us. I just booked my tickets for the tentative dates. Later on most of them started to drop out but some of us who were actually keen for this, said we will stick to even if few folks joins. So, finally 6 of us started our journey from Delhi to Jim Corbett National Park. J 

Courtesy: Kuldeep Rathee - @ Jim Corbett National Park with Engineering friends

It was all raining through the road & even drizzling intermittently in Jim Corbett. First day we had so many things to talk about. We chatted whole night sitting by pool side, recalling old days (obvious topics). We discussed about each one of our batch mates recalling by roll numbers. I must appreciate Ramesh (one of my friend) had a really good memory in remembering people’s name. Then, Second day we went to Jungle Safari which was a great experience on its own.. in an open Jeep inside Jungle. Lastly, we spent almost 6-7 hours inside pool playing & doing all kind of masti including trying to jump weirdest possible. That’s how we concluded our trip & returned to our homes. I wish we could do such Re-unions more often.

September onwards, rest of the year went taking care of Anu & planning for Aadya's welcome. :)

When I look back all this, I feel so satisfied & accomplished that our decision to move back to India is so meaningful & worthy vs. what we left over.

To conclude the year, here are some memories of the year.. 

With this, Good Bye 2013... & Welcome 2014..

Happy Reading!!
Gaurav Mudgal